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The feeling when you realised someone is going to disappear in your life completely. I don't used to it. I never want to say goodbye to anyone. I mean, everyone.

What to do? Life.

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It is almost 5am in UK, but I don't feel like sleeping.
Perhaps too many things happened these few days.
and I'm avoiding myself to have too much time on bed to think too much.

The one really irritating is, AIESEC.
What is AIESEC?

As an international student organization, AIESEC promotes global understanding through international exchange. By attending conferences and participating in the everyday tasks of the local and National level, our students have the opportunity to develop their professional skills and develop an international perspective while making many memorable friends and memories. In short, AIESEC is the international platform for youth to explore and develop their leadership capabilities.

Yeah, I passed the first stage of AIESEC interview and I had been required to pay £350 admission fee which £200 is non-refundable even if I have not been chosen after another interview with project manager, as the admission fee is not guarantee to being accepted onto project. A six weeks programme would roughly costs me £1000, in other words, I'm using RM5500 to do volunteer job, so called "helping others" or "contributing to society".

It is like a balance, measuring the benefits and disadvantages of going and not going. One side is about money, while the other side is about experience, and have fun, honestly. (My desired project to go is Kenya! :D) I had requested them to extend my admission fee payment for a week, which the deadline will be tomorrow, and I'm even still considering when I start to type this post. 

Typing, typing and typing... Then, I remembered a promise, that I made for myself very long time ago, when I was not allowed to go Taiwan, when I had been advised not to travel to UK ( it was a reward of getting good result ). I promised myself, I will only use my own money to travel, to have fun. Yea, I remembered that! No worry, everything settled now. I will never ever think to join AIESEC again, until I save enough money for that. ;)

I should recall this promise earlier, so that I don't waste so much time on considering. Hahaha.. Stupid! 

Relationship is another annoying problem. I'm trying hard not to allow blablabla chemicals between two people to react. 

It had been quite a long time of being single. Probably I'm lack of confidence to get along with another person. Sometime, I might feel like without someone by my side whenever I want to cry/ complain/ disturb/ play with/ talk to. It is alright. Most of the time, I do enjoy the single life now, very much. 

That's why, I realised that, those couple who can go through all the obstacles, growing old together, until forever is really one in a million. It involved good timing, coincidence, suitable person, and for sure, an open HEART to be in a relationship. In future time, there is more challenges for them to face and overcome, family responsibility, working pressure, seduction from outside ... If their heart never change for each other after so many years of staying together, and went through so many tough times, the relationship is remarkable. And, I'm touched.

Yeah, since when, I envy those people with no blood related, but their relationship lasts, no matter friendship or love. So, I'm really appreciate those who never leave me alone, and still always beside me now. Thank you babes and bros! Love you all so muchieeeeeeee.. <3 font="">

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长大以后
你会发现
要的 不过如此

一颗单纯的心
一群真诚的朋友
一个没有心机的世界

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是世界太黑暗
还是看事情太透彻

宁愿像个小孩
不肯看太多的事
听太多的不是
单纯一辈子

小姐我 有个缺点

小姐 我有个缺点

只要是去玩的 吃的 乐的

不管是谁

不管钱包多薄 还是几厚

都奉陪到底

啊啊啊啊啊

我每个星期都在做工

却一点钱也没存到

是应该庆幸 至少我没有负债吗?

哈哈

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有人在脸书晒幸福

知道他们在一起很久

是遗憾自己的爱情不如他们美满吗?

应该是羡慕

羡慕有个人一直在身边

接受了缺点 欣赏着优点

熬过低潮 走过欢乐

有个人 陪着 一步步走到永远

当不再遗憾的时候

应该也意味着没有回头的可能了

让所有事情到此为止

留下最美的我们

再搞砸

只会让憎恨取代了 愛

Telephone Interview

I think today should be noted, for my entire life!

It is not about something really worth to clap, instead, I should feel guilty.

Yep, today I had the very first telephone interview, after 20 years of living.

It is an placement application to PWC.

Honestly, I didn't do well on phone, but this is not the main reason.

As in I only get this chance after the second attempt of online application.

What I really feel shame on myself is..

After 20 years of living, I was like.. didn't learn anything at all, know nothing!

Tell me about a time when you need to complete multi-task at the same time/ time management/ team working/ solving problem yourself during tough time/ deal with colleagues who has different working style/ facing a big change ( showing you are flexible ).... 

and I can't answer all of these questions! Giving shit example, I can't even convince myself the answer is good, at  least not bad.

I really wonder what I did in the past 20 years. Cadet reporter? St John ambulance? A-Level in KL? Come over UK?

It seem my life is not that dull, my life seem interesting, colourful as well, but why I just get nothing from life. 

就好像, 从来没有细细品尝生活, 没有好好领悟生活, 做事情总是得过且过。

Very good! Even I have a lot time now, I still can't come out with a good example. My 20 years life is just a waste! 

Shame ><